Chapter Ninety-Four: Autumn Wind and Falling Leaves

The Story Began in June 2006

Recommended song: Kokia — Snow White

Disclaimer: This story is entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.

He kept wiping at his tears with his own hands, only to find that no matter how hard he tried, he could not dry them. In the end, he gave up altogether. Jiang Yihan had truly lost heart. Utterly.

"Brother Yihan... I’m honestly starting to wonder whether it was right for me to enter this world at all."

Jiang Ziyi turned away and wiped her own tears. She did not even know how many tears she had shed. Her brother had always feared hurting others, yet he kept on being hurt himself. From his grandmother to Li Yimei, and then to the castle; from family to love, and then to friendship—everything Jiang Yihan could lose, he had lost. Nothing remained.

Jiang Ziyi could almost feel a dark vacuum forming around her brother. No matter how she and Brother Liran tried to step into that emptiness to comfort him, they could not reach him. Perhaps her brother really had lost all hope.

To Li Ran, losing heart was a verb. It could make his chest ache beyond endurance. It could make him burst into inexplicable tears, eyes red and swollen. It could make him want to shoulder everything that losing heart brought with it.

The Jiang Yihan standing before him was no longer the same lazy cat from before. What had happened over the past few months had stripped him of the smile he ought to have had. Even Little Zhou and Aunt Bing could no longer get near him. There was nothing anyone could do; only when he himself figured it out, only when he smiled again of his own accord, would the world belonging to Jiang Yihan begin to turn once more.

Looking at him, Li Ran felt his own heart sink again and again into an abyss without end.

"Hello, Ran. This is Li Tong." It was Li Tong on the phone. He had not called Jiang Yihan directly, but informed Li Ran instead. "The scripts for those dramas you were looking at before—you don’t need to read them anymore. The crews have all called. They’ve already found suitable actors."

Li Tong did not go on. Everyone knew Jiang Yihan had been pushed out.

"And those five commercials you were negotiating for before, don’t bother with them anymore. They’ve called to turn us down. And as for those schedules..."

Li Tong could not continue. His voice began to choke. Li Ran said nothing either, only answered with a quiet "Mm" before hanging up.

The situation now was a complete mess. Everything had fallen apart.

Jiang Yihan was no different from being blacklisted. Without the support of his fans, a popular star had no value. Coupled with the recent wave of sensational attacks, Jiang Yihan had become something dangerous, something few dared to touch. If not for the fact that Samsung and Ziyi had already signed contracts, Li Ran would have suspected they might have backed out as well.

It was hard to believe, but just two months earlier Jiang Yihan had been the hottest entertainer in all of Korea. "Can I Love You?" had only just gone off the air and had already set countless records across the country. And Jiang Yihan’s new album title track, also called "Can I Love You?", had held the number-one spot for a record-breaking eight weeks before slipping to second place. Even now, after everything that had happened, it still remained in the top ten, sustaining an astonishing run of nearly five months. His collaborations with Kim Jaejoong, "Secretly in Love With You," and with Lee Hyori, "Confession," had each held first place for a full week, while "Not Wanting to Part" had been a champion for four weeks. In other words, from the start of Jiang Yihan’s comeback until the end of April, the weekly crown had belonged to Jiang Yihan alone. Four songs joined hands to rule the music scene for three months.

And now, that same singer who had been so blazing a presence had no schedules, no commercials, no film or television plans. No one would have believed it if they heard it, yet that was exactly what had happened.

When the dust finally settled—and by that, of course, I mean only that no new rumors had appeared—the barrage against Jiang Yihan on the internet and in the media still did not end. In fact, the entire affair was being discussed and treated as a social issue.

The internet was the internet. The media was the media. We were us. Life was life.

Life had to go on.

Li Tong would not give in, and Li Ran would not give in either. So-called blacklisting really meant only that no one had the courage to put Jiang Yihan on their programs. After all, everyone had to make a living. For Li Tong and Li Ran, the key was naturally to find someone willing to invite Jiang Yihan onto a program.

The first person to step forward was Kang Ho-dong, who volunteered to help. Ho-dong brought Li Ran to the SBS production team.

"PD, I want Jiang Yihan on this episode of Love Letter."

"Why, Ho-dong? You know perfectly well what’s been going on lately. Why do you still want Jiang Yihan?" The PD wore a face full of patient persuasion.

"Didn’t you see the ratings when we recorded that special luxury lineup of Love Letter last time? Nearly fifty percent. What other program has that kind of efficiency? Jiang Yihan has always worked well with us—why can’t you think about what he’s contributed to us before?" Kang Ho-dong tried hard to keep his temper, explaining patiently.

"Yes, PD. Every time Jiang Yihan has appeared on your show before, the results were excellent. Why not take another look? He might still bring in great ratings." Li Ran also joined the effort to persuade him.

"Ho-dong, Ran, it’s not that I don’t want to do this," the PD said, looking troubled. "To be honest, we all saw the stir Jiang Yihan created for our program before. That luxury Love Letter special—I think it may never be matched in the history of television. It would be hard to repeat. But that was then, and this is now. Right now, having Jiang Yihan on is a risk, and our program cannot take that risk. A while ago, what happened to Jiang Yihan had already escalated into a social issue. Even if those of us in the industry know how much of it is smoke and mirrors, the viewers do not. Until Jiang Yihan is cleared, putting him on air is dangerous. I’m sure you both understand that. It’s not that I don’t want to help—it’s simply impossible."

Kang Ho-dong glanced awkwardly at the PD, then at Li Ran, whose brow was tightly furrowed. He clenched his teeth and said, "Then do this: use my name. Tell the higher-ups there was a problem with Jiang Yihan’s appearance on the show. I’ll take responsibility. Is that enough?"

The PD was stunned by Ho-dong’s words, and Li Ran was startled as well. "Brother Ho-dong, why would you go this far? Jiang Yihan has already received so much care from you. If you do this now, it’ll only make him feel uneasy."

"Ran, you know perfectly well I treat Yihan like my own younger brother. If something happens to my brother and I don’t help, then who am I supposed to help?" Ho-dong said solemnly. "Besides, when Yihan’s popularity was at its peak, how much did he help me? How could I not know? If I don’t help him now, wouldn’t that make me ungrateful?"

When Ho-dong finished, the PD’s face turned red and he lowered his head. After a long hesitation, he looked up again, as if having made a great decision. "Brother Ho-dong, Ran, I still can’t help you with this."

"You!" Ho-dong’s temper flared at once, and he glared at the PD in fury.

"Brother Ho-dong, you know this as well as I do. You may be willing to stand as guarantor alone, but if anything goes wrong, our entire production team will be dragged into it. We’re all just trying to make a living. Why must it come to this? There are more than a hundred people in this production team. Everyone has to eat. We can’t act on impulse. Truly." The PD’s expression was almost pleading, and also helpless.

Li Ran stopped Ho-dong before he could erupt again. "PD, thank you. I understand your difficulties. Brother Ho-dong, the PD is right. Yihan’s matter is important, of course, but we can’t risk everyone else’s livelihoods along with it. Yihan will remember this kindness of yours."

"Ran, what are you saying? If you and Yihan really think of me as a big brother, you shouldn’t say that. I haven’t helped at all. Before, for the sake of self-preservation, I didn’t say a word either. I still feel guilty now. Maybe if I had stepped forward back then, things wouldn’t be like this." Ho-dong’s eyes were also a little red. Clearly, he had been blaming himself all along.

"Brother Ho-dong, Yihan’s matter involves too much. It was right that you didn’t get involved." Li Ran patted Ho-dong on the back. "Actually, Yihan doesn’t need much. Brother Ho-dong’s trust alone is enough to make him happy."

"I watched Yihan climb step by step to where he is today. If I don’t believe in him, then who will? Besides, I’m his big brother. If I don’t believe in my own brother, am I even a person? This is the most basic thing, and it’s something I should absolutely do." Ho-dong spoke with seriousness.

Such ordinary words brought a trace of warmth to Li Ran, who had run into wall after wall these past days.

Perhaps it was a matter of course for Kang Ho-dong, but for many others, it was not. The simple word trust was far too difficult to give.

After saying goodbye to Kang Ho-dong and SBS, Li Ran made his difficult way to KBS. Fate played a little joke: the one who received him was still PD Lee.

"Well, well, who do we have here? If it isn’t the famous Li Ran. What is it now? A honored guest at my door—what brings you here?" PD Lee looked like a petty man intoxicated by power, and Li Ran wanted nothing more than to turn and leave. But after some hesitation, he held himself back.

"PD Lee, I want Jiang Yihan on a KBS program."

"Ah, so now you want to come onto our KBS programs? Weren’t you all so high and mighty before, even tossing threats my way and telling me to watch myself? What about now? Time turns, and the wheel comes round. Today it’s my turn to have the upper hand."

PD Lee smiled with obvious delight. He was quite pleased with the choice he had made back then.

Li Ran did not argue. He silently endured it all. As long as Jiang Yihan could get another chance, this was nothing.

PD Lee rambled on for about five minutes before getting to the point. "Actually, it’s not impossible to get Jiang Yihan on the show. It’s just very difficult. If you don’t make some sort of gesture, where would I get the courage?"

Hearing this, Li Ran forcibly swallowed the obscenities that had risen to his lips. This PD had not changed one bit—he was making a shamelessly greedy demand again. Li Ran was just about to take out the money he had prepared in advance when PD Lee spoke again.

"Today, let’s talk about courage of the spiritual sort." PD Lee’s smile grew even wider, sending gooseflesh across Li Ran’s skin. "Brother Li Ran, why don’t you kneel before me and say, 'I was wrong'? Then everything will be easy. How about that? Simple, right?"

Li Ran suddenly lifted his head, and the light bursting from his eyes was enough to kill. PD Lee took a step back.

"What’s the matter? Is Jiang Yihan more important, or are your knees more important? You’d better think that through."

Li Ran stared at PD Lee for a full ten seconds before finally pulling his gaze away. In truth, the matter had already reached a bottleneck. If he did nothing, there might truly be no way back.

After weighing it again and again, Li Ran clenched his teeth and hardened his heart. With a dull thud, he knelt.

The cold floor met his hard knees, and Li Ran’s heart sank with that same thud. It took all he had to force the words out of his throat.

"I was wrong."

After saying it, Li Ran bit down hard on his teeth, refusing to let himself explode.

Hearing this, PD Lee bent slightly and said, "Li Ran, so you have come to this." He smiled triumphantly, then stood and pretended to dust off his knees as he said, "Any PD who would take Jiang Yihan back onto a show now would have to be either a fool or a total idiot. Hmph."

Then he turned and walked away.

Li Ran sprang to his feet in fury, driving his hand through the air in a vicious strike as if trying to vent something. In the end, though, he could only lean helplessly against himself and do nothing else.

Watching PD Lee leave with smug, skipping steps, Li Ran would not accept it. Li Ran raged. Li Ran despised it. But what could he do? Right now, the other man was the winner. He could do whatever he pleased, while the rest of them could only watch a petty man rise in power and remain unable to do anything at all.

Li Ran was meeting wall after wall, and Li Tong was no better off. Yet in the main office at MS, the smile on Lee Soo-man’s face made everyone there feel buoyant.

"Seong-shi, you did well. Your promotion papers have already been sent through. Work hard from now on!"

Seong-shi was instantly overjoyed. Indeed, this whole affair had not only allowed him to vent his frustration, but had also helped the artists under him develop well—and now he was getting promoted as well. What a deeply satisfying thing.

But the words that followed from Lee Soo-man caused his good mood to falter.

"Right now, we need to do everything possible to pull Li Ran and Jiang Yihan over to our side. That is the top priority."

"Why, President? They have completely lost their value now." Seong-shi was a little tense.

"Fool. Can’t you see their commercial value? If you hadn’t happened to seize a handle this time, and then found some people who already disliked them, they would never have been pushed down. Sooner or later, they would have become top stars. What we need to do now is seize this opportunity, bring them under our banner, and have them work for us. That would be the best strategy." Lee Soo-man made the decision quickly, then suddenly added to Seong-shi, "Keep that original tape safe. Don’t lose it, or our whole plan will come to nothing."

Seong-shi hurriedly nodded and agreed.

Recently, with MS’s forceful promotion, Fly’s popularity had also continued to rise. They stood alongside Super Junior as the brightest new stars of 2006, and their development was progressing smoothly.

And here, Jiang Yihan met with an unexpected person: Li Yimei.

"Yihan, I truly didn’t know my words would bring about such consequences. If I had known, I would never have said them." Regret and guilt were no longer enough to describe Li Yimei’s state of mind.

"What happened is something no one could have known in advance. You don’t need to blame yourself, and you don’t need to feel guilty. The result is already here; we simply accept it." Jiang Yihan lightly and calmly blocked all the words that followed.

Li Yimei opened her mouth, only to realize she had nothing to say.

Looking at Jiang Yihan’s profile, his skin was still as delicate as ever, his lips still full, his lashes still long—only the smile that had once belonged to him was gone. That faint, detached curve at the corners of his mouth made one’s heart ache to see.

Li Yimei now knew that Jiang Yihan would never belong to her again.

A little rambling note from this lazy cat: there are still two updates today, and this is the first.