Chapter Ninety-Three: Trust

The Page One of Three

Entertainment at Your Side, No Pop-up Ads

Story time: April to May, 2006

Recommended song: Big Bang — Heaven

Disclaimer: This work is purely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is entirely coincidental.

The appearance of Li Yi-mei left everyone in the audience baffled, and Jiang Yi-han utterly unable to understand it.

Li Yi-mei’s statement came from secretly filmed footage. What she said in it was simple enough, and for Jiang Yi-han it was also the truth, yet it stirred up a storm no one could have predicted. Even Li Yi-mei herself had not known she had been secretly filmed, let alone foreseen what would follow.

“I dated Jiang Yi-han, but we broke up earlier this year. Please stop asking me. It was my fault, all my fault.”

That was Li Yi-mei’s answer to the person pressing her for details. She was clearly impatient, yet her words were brief and true. Afterward, the giant screen even showed a few intimate photographs of the two, likely also found by the person behind the scenes.

The mastermind’s use of the final witness, Li Yi-mei, was brief. Jiang Yi-han himself did not even know what her appearance meant, or how it connected to the recent rumors about him. But the next day, he learned the intention from the newspapers.

Every media outlet now described Jiang Yi-han in the same way: fickle, tangled in messy relationships, a heartless man, domineering with his girlfriends, and quick-tempered. From Li Yi-mei’s words, this image had been built into Jiang Yi-han’s latest public face.

Jiang Yi-han had not held a press conference in a long time. He did not want to, because to the media his explanations were all “feeble and powerless,” while the “facts” laid before them were too many. Anything Jiang Yi-han said was treated as a lie; there was no longer any chance of clearing his name.

Li Tong, Li Ran, and Jiang Zi-yi had not slept properly for a long time. In order to find evidence, come up with a plan, locate connections, and solve the matter, the three of them, together with a whole group of colleagues at the company, had poured out every ounce of energy they had. But from the media to the executives to the audience, no one would believe Jiang Yi-han. Even those who had witnessed earlier events, the staff members, were unwilling to come forward and testify, for fear of losing their jobs. The matter had, for the moment, reached a dead end.

As the situation spread with lightning speed, the so-called friends around him all disappeared as well. The only seniors still in contact with Jiang Yi-han were Lee Hyo-ri and Kang Ho-dong. Neither of them could do much, or rather, anything they did would be in vain. A while earlier, Jang Dong-geon, who was filming overseas, still cared about Jiang Yi-han’s situation, but Jiang Yi-han said nothing. In his view, Senior Jang Dong-geon had already been more than considerate toward him; there was no need for him to wade into this muddy affair for his sake, especially since it might bring trouble down on him as well. Lee Hyo-ri and Kang Ho-dong were the same. At Jiang Yi-han’s plea, both of them struggled in public before the media to control their urge to defend him, and said nothing. But Kang Ho-dong still exploded once. In an interview, when a reporter brought up Jiang Yi-han’s supposed rudeness, Kang Ho-dong could not bear it any longer and scolded the reporter harshly: “If you did not see the facts, never speak nonsense. I watched Jiang Yi-han step by step as he came to where he is today. Whoever bad-mouths him will have me to deal with!”

As for his peers, Dong Bang Shin Ki and Han Geng, there was even less they could do. Anything they said would probably draw no attention from the media, and certainly earn no belief.

By now, Jiang Yi-han was completely trapped in the whirlpool of rumors and could not find a way out.

He had now truly given up, because the castle that had always supported him had also “seen the truth” and begun condemning him. Jiang Yi-han’s heart had gone completely cold. He did not know what to do anymore. Having lost the force that had always sustained him, having lost the direction of his own efforts, Jiang Yi-han came to a full stop.

“I never imagined Jiang Yi-han would be that kind of person. I am ashamed to say I am a castle.”

Page Two of Three

“We defended you so much before, and you never even told us you were dating a girlfriend. You even said you would share everything with us. It was all nonsense. We will never believe you again.”

“Anyone who still believes you is an idiot.”

“You piece of trash. All you have is a pretty face. What ability do you even have? Go home, wash up, and go to bed.”

The castle’s hearts were all falling apart. After another round of online polling, less than five percent still supported Jiang Yi-han. Seeing such numbers, Jiang Zi-yi, who had always been full of confidence, panicked too. With the castle’s support gone, what would become of her brother? No one knew anymore.

“Who will tell me what on earth happened to you all? Who will tell me why you suddenly chose to give up? Who will tell me where the truth lies: in other people’s mouths, or in our own hearts? We watched Young Master rise step by step, so why can’t we trust him? Why can’t we keep our faith? Is Young Master really so unbearable in your eyes?”

Sheng Ying-zhu was already speaking in utter confusion. She no longer knew how to condemn the others, nor even how to express herself. To her, believing in Jiang Yi-han required no condition. There was only belief, and more belief. She believed that as castles, they should know Jiang Yi-han better than Jiang Yi-han knew himself. The Jiang Yi-han she knew was a young master who smiled often, kind, gentle, and thoughtful; a well-mannered, filial young master who respected his elders; an angel who had strayed into the mortal world with invisible wings. She would not allow anyone to doubt him, not even herself.

“I don’t know whether the castles here are still castles anymore. When Young Master succeeded, we gathered around him to cheer and shout for him. We were certain that the Young Master we knew was the truest, the closest to our own hearts. But when Young Master ran into trouble, where did those castles go? Where did your faith go? Yes, there are many accusations now, but don’t you think none of it can be trusted? Do you really believe the Young Master described by others is the same one we know, or just some stranger? Why can’t the castle be a fortress that endures? If we all fall apart, what is Young Master supposed to do? What is he supposed to do?”

As the forum’s chief administrator, Jiang Zai-min was heartbroken. The lack of trust from everyone, the support rate of less than five percent, made her ache with pain. Was this truly all there was to the real castle?

“I don’t want to know what you all are thinking. I only know what I am thinking. No matter what others say about Young Master, I choose to believe him. Listen to his songs. Listen to that boy with the pure voice. When he lowers his voice and confides his feelings, did you hear the fragility in his heart? Did you hear the innocence in his soul? Did you hear the confession rising from his very spirit? Too many things have happened lately; everyone is a little dazed, and so am I. But whenever I open my CD player and hear ‘Can I Love You,’ my heart hurts so much. Why must everyone slander such a clean and innocent boy? Anything can lie, but music cannot lie. That is the voice of his heart. If you still think you are a castle, then listen to the song that made us love him: ‘Castle.’ Listen carefully to the sound of your own hearts before deciding whether to believe or to give up.”

Min Xiao-li typed this passage through her tears. She had believed everyone would trust Young Master; she had believed the truth would soon come out; she had believed this was only a brief detour. But trust was gone. She was worried, she was afraid. She feared Young Master would think no one believed in him anymore and choose to give up. The songs of Jiang Yi-han kept playing in the CD player, and the tears would not stop. She even began to resent the so-called castles. Was belief really worth so little to them?

Fu Yao sat in front of the computer, glaring angrily at the comments. “What is wrong with them? Is believing in Young Master really such a difficult thing?”

“Brother, don’t bother arguing with them. Adversity reveals true hearts. Those who still choose to believe in Young Master now are the real castles. The rest are fake, all fake,” Fu Yi said, his small face flushed red with anger.

“Right. Say it like that,” Fu Yao said, then quickly typed out his thoughts.

“Adversity reveals true hearts. Anyone who can still believe in Young Master now is the real castle. Everyone else is fake, all fake. You are all liars. What kind of person Young Master is, would we not know? If even we cannot trust Young Master, then who are you expecting to believe you? You are all liars, deceiving other castles and deceiving Young Master. You are all liars!”

Xu Zheng-ya and Lin Xiao-guang, along with many familiar castles, also voiced their support online. But in the flood of opposing denunciations, their voices were far, far too small. Now almost all the castles had turned against Jiang Yi-han and joined the ranks of the anti-fans.

Jiang Zi-yi looked at the online statistics, her heart bleeding. Even the last stronghold had been lost. She no longer knew what she should use to help everyone stand firm. Trust was, at times, truly important beyond measure.

Even though he was dispirited, heartbroken, and miserable, Jiang Yi-han still chose to hold a press conference. But it was not aimed at the unfavorable rumors. It was a press conference for his castles. Only two hundred castles were present; the rest were reporters.

“Hello, everyone. I am Jiang Yi-han, the one who has recently been at the center of the storm.” Jiang Yi-han coughed once and delivered his opening. “As for all the news about me over the past two months, I have already spoken in public or issued public statements to explain my innocence. I do not want to dwell on the previous matters today. I will only say this again: what I have not done, I will never admit; what is not my fault, I will never accept. If you still have slander, if you still have defamation, then keep coming. But remember this: do not let me find my innocence, or all of you will be guilty.”

Jiang Yi-han’s final sentence was not loud, yet it sent a chill through every reporter in the room.

“Today, I have something I want to say to my castles.” Jiang Yi-han brought the subject to the point. “I have always known that trust is hard, but I never knew it could be this hard. There have been too many negative reports about me lately. I know you are anxious, I know you are worried, but I always believed you would trust me, would support me. Because I always thought you understood me better than I understood myself. Every move I made, you saw it all, and kept it in your hearts. Many times, I did not even know what kind of person I was, but you did. And now, in your understanding, am I truly that kind of person? That shameless, indecent, rude, crude, hopeless person? Only now do I understand that this is the image I have in your hearts. Only now do I understand that, in the end, I, Jiang Yi-han, am that kind of man.”

Jiang Yi-han’s voice tightened with emotion, and the castles in the room all lowered their heads.

“I have only reached where I am today because of the help of many people, and because of the castles’ support. In fact, I can say that I stand at this height only because of what you gave me. But when you see how the media describes me now, are you really happy? Satisfied? Is this the kind of person you wanted me to be? Now you have taken away all your support, and I am back to my original self, with nothing. For me, that is simply a return to the starting point. There is nothing to fear. What makes me bitter is this—I am bitter that after all my effort, all my struggle, all my sacrifice, this is all I get in return: your rejection. I cannot accept it. I cannot.”

At the end, Jiang Yi-han stood up and cried out at everyone. Some of the castles also began to weep softly.

“Since my debut, I have never asked for luxury, never expected much. To receive the castles’ support was already beyond my expectations. All I wanted was for the castles who support and love me to truly believe in me. But I was still being greedy, still asking for more. The so-called castle in my heart never existed at all. It never existed.”

“Reporters, I’ll respectfully call you reporters, because I respect you. From the beginning until now, you have seen my behavior with your own eyes. You know me best. And yet this is the result you have given me. Are you happy? Do you like it? Are you proud of it? Is this what you wanted? Is this what you hoped for? Fine. Very well. In all of South Korea, the image of Jiang Yi-han no longer needs me to say a word; everyone can recite a dozen insults. This is the result you wrote. If this is truly what you hoped for, then I wish you all a pleasant time!”

Jiang Yi-han shouted out his grievance at the reporters. There was no defense, no resistance—only hurt, only doubt. That upright honesty made most of the reporters lower their heads as well.

“What I, Jiang Yi-han, have is what all of you gave me. Now you have taken it all away, and I am left with nothing. So what did you gain? What did you gain?” Jiang Yi-han shouted in fury, and tears streamed down his face without warning. “Hahaha... how ridiculous. How utterly ridiculous. After more than a year, this is the result I end up with. I am satisfied. I am satisfied. Then, lastly, I wish you all well.”

Having said that, Jiang Yi-han wiped away his tears forcefully, cast a hard glance over the room, and walked out without once turning back.

Only then did the castles in the room realize what had happened. Their actions had truly wounded Jiang Yi-han’s heart. Perhaps before there had been countless slanders, perhaps before there had been countless attacks, but Jiang Yi-han had never truly lost heart. What truly broke him was the castles’ lack of trust, and only that.

Many castles stood up in tears, crying out “Young Master” again and again, but their calls could no longer bring him back. Jiang Yi-han’s resolute back disappeared from everyone’s sight.

This farce, which had dragged on for nearly two months, finally came to a real end.

A Cat’s Ramblings: two updates today; this is the second.