Chapter Three: The Consequences of Peeping

The days of being Wukong’s junior disciple came without warning. Liu Yunfei only felt a wave of dizziness, then saw trees speeding past him as if he were sitting on a transparent high-speed train. In no time, he felt a sudden jolt, as though the train had braked sharply, and he tumbled onto a grassy field.

He stood up, brushed the dirt off his pants, and looked around. He realized he was at the edge of the forest where they had first entered. His vision and hearing had improved dramatically; through the gaps between the trees, he could see Xiao Wei, that little rascal, holding Zhang Juan in his arms. His dragon’s claw hand was already creeping under her T-shirt, and he could clearly hear their heavy, uncontrollable breathing.

They were kissing passionately, oblivious to Liu Yunfei’s return. It was the perfect chance to test the Somersault Cloud. Reciting the incantation, Liu Yunfei saw a small, white cloud appear beneath his feet, lifting him swiftly into the air, closer and closer to the treetops, then farther away. With a twist of his body, he hovered midair. Looking down, the world spread out beneath him like a green ocean—Xiaoyang Mountain, Yangshan Lake, Huangjiang City, and even the distant Yangtze River were all laid out in full view. A flock of unnamed birds circled below his feet.

Suspended alone in midair, with only the rushing wind around him, Liu Yunfei felt a thrill. Though he’d already learned Daoist arts and could control his emotions, his legs still trembled slightly with nerves, and he dared not ascend any higher. He guided the Somersault Cloud up, down, left, and right with his thoughts. The maneuver was surprisingly simple—no need for pedals or gears like learning to drive; if he wished to go up, he went up; to go down, he went down; speed and direction were determined by thought alone. Once he was familiar with it, he wouldn’t even need to look—just think, and he’d be there.

“It’s practically autopilot,” Liu Yunfei mused. Not wanting to attract too much attention, he didn’t fly far—just circled the Yangtze River, searched for his house from above Huangjiang City, and quickly lost interest, returning to his original spot. The moment he landed, the Somersault Cloud faded and vanished.

“Hey, why didn’t you explore a bit more? You haven’t even made a path out of the woods yet. Go and blaze a trail!” Xiao Wei grumbled at his quick return.

“That’s enough, isn’t it? It’s almost noon. Are you two done yet? Of course you’re not hungry—you’ve got plenty of each other’s spit to swallow. I’m starving,” Liu Yunfei replied.

Zhang Juan blushed at his words. “Let’s go get something to eat at a nearby restaurant,” she suggested. In truth, Liu Yunfei no longer cared much about food, having just acquired magical powers. All he wanted was to get home—though, truth be told, he hadn’t thought about what he’d do once he got there. It was like someone who’d just found a treasure: his first instinct was to hurry home and laugh about it in secret.

“You guys go ahead. I’ve had enough for today—I’m tired. I’ll head home first,” Liu Yunfei said.

They tried to persuade him to stay, but seeing it was useless, they let him go. Liu Yunfei rushed home. It was already afternoon; his parents were at work, and the food left on the table didn’t interest him. He dove into his room, lay face-down on the bed, and grinned foolishly, itching to share his secret with someone. But when he picked up the phone, he had no idea whom to call, and so he wavered there for a while.

He then spent some time studying the Light Jade Slip. The Light Jade Slip was a spatial artifact, not very large—about forty-five square meters and two meters high. It usually resided in a corner of his consciousness, and with a thought, he could store anything he looked at inside. But as a space of consciousness, time stood still inside it—there was no concept of time passing. Perfect for keeping fruits and vegetables fresh, of course. If someone wanted eternal youth, they could spend decades inside and emerge unchanged, but since they’d be unconscious the whole time, there wasn’t much point.

So, standing in a bank watching people count money, as long as I think about it, that money becomes mine? Wealth is within reach. Cash, beauties, anything—Liu Yunfei leapt onto his bed, giddy with delight.

Having familiarized himself with the Light Jade Slip, Liu Yunfei suddenly craved a cigarette. He rummaged through his backpack and found a pack—not the good stuff, just the eleven-yuan Nanjing cigarettes that were popular among students. Everyone he knew preferred the red-pack Nanjing, even Xiao Wei, who carried dozens of other brands in his bag, would only go out of his way to buy Red Nanjing. Liu Yunfei was no exception; in fact, it was Xiao Wei who had gotten him into the habit, though his addiction wasn’t strong—he only smoked when he was upset, excited, playing cards, or hanging out with friends.

Afraid of being scolded by his parents, Liu Yunfei always smoked by the window at home, so the smell wouldn’t linger in his room. He inhaled deeply, letting the smoke relax his body; perhaps, in moments of excitement, a little numbness was welcome.

As he puffed away, his gaze drifted to the third floor of the building across the street. In one of the rooms, a fair-skinned figure lay on the bed in nothing but a bra and underwear—a young woman by her silhouette. Liu Yunfei lived on the fifth floor, and the distance between buildings in his complex was quite large, so normally one couldn’t see clearly without binoculars. But now, with his enhanced vision, everything was as clear as day.

He couldn’t help but swallow hard. Unfortunately, the woman’s face was turned away. Liu Yunfei thought, Why not turn into a fly and take a closer look? After all, it’s perfectly normal for flies to be around this time of year. Though Liu Yunfei was considered one of the few innocent guys left, he was still a healthy young man—he’d watched his share of adult films and had his own private moments, though he didn’t consider himself a pervert. At least he’d never tried to spy on someone before. But with the opportunity and the ability now, he felt it would be a shame not to take a look.

Transformed into a Liu Yunfei-brand fly, he buzzed over to the woman’s window, but still couldn’t see her face. He flew inside and finally landed on the door frame. Before him lay a young beauty in her early twenties, sleeping soundly. Her long hair spilled irregularly across the pillow, her skin as pristine as an egg white. Her features were as delicate as a rose, and her purple lace bra hugged her snowy, rounded breasts. On the curve of her left breast was a tiny black mole. Her slim waist and beige panties clung tightly to her hips, accentuating her alluring form. Between her slightly parted legs, a small mound was visible, with two mischievous black curls peeking out from the edge.

Liu Yunfei’s fingers twitched with excitement, and he was just about to buzz closer when a sudden jolt ran through him—his whole body spun as if falling from a great height. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a pink plastic flyswatter wielded by a middle-aged woman whose face was twisted with hatred.

“Pesky flies! I can never kill them all,” the woman grumbled, pinching Liu Yunfei between her fingers and tossing him into the trash.

“Even Sun Wukong fears the flyswatter,” Liu Yunfei lamented. Inside the garbage bag, the vegetable leaves looked as big as trees. Suddenly, he felt something wet and sticky on his backside. Turning around, he leaped up in disgust. “What the hell is this?” He was lying on a used sanitary pad—he couldn’t tell if it belonged to the young woman or her mother.

Just as he was about to escape, a torrent of thick, white, sticky stuff poured down on him, smearing his face and blinding his eyes. The stench in his nose was nauseating. Looking again, he saw it was a pot of spoiled porridge. How unlucky could he be? His very first venture had left him covered in slime—he had to get out before things got any worse.

Pinching his nose, he crawled to a dry spot, shook his wings (which still worked), and hurriedly flew home. Once back, he returned to his human form, stripped off his clothes, stuffed them into the washing machine, and dashed into the bathroom for a shower.