Chapter Fifteen: Xiao Lin’s Diary (II)

In the quiet little study, the air was thick with the fragrance of books. On either side of the bookshelf hung a couplet: “Poetry and painting, melodies and bookish voices,” announcing the room’s tranquil elegance. Yet in this serene atmosphere, Wang Yuqing was deeply troubled, her usually pretty face full of knots and worry. She held a blue notebook of letter paper in her hand.

“Should I read it or not?” Wang Yuqing wrestled with herself, picking up the notebook and setting it down, again and again, unable to decide.

“Only by understanding his past can I truly help him now,” she tried to comfort herself. After a long struggle, she finally steeled her resolve: she would read it.

First, Wang Yuqing went to close the study door, even sneaking a peek outside to make sure no one was there. Just moments ago, she had been hoping Xiao Lin would come back soon; now she fervently wished he would be late. Ah, a girl's heart is truly mercurial.

Her own heart pounded wildly, as though she were a thief. Wang Yuqing silently mocked herself for it. With trembling hands, she opened the notebook. Why were her hands trembling? She was too riled up, that was all.

“October 5, 2008. There was an exam today. I got first place again. I’m so excited…”

“November 3, 2008. Teacher asked me to give a speech on stage. I’m so nervous! What if I embarrass myself…”

“November 18, 2008. Wang Jiade asked me to play soccer. Who knew, when we got to the field, the soccer ball was gone, so we played basketball instead…”

The early pages were scattered notes from Xiao Lin about his studies and daily life, some happy, some not.

But Wang Yuqing read them with great interest. Sometimes she giggled with delight, sometimes her face fell as if someone owed her money.

She read on. Suddenly, something seemed to catch her eye; her face clouded with confusion, and she murmured softly. If Xiao Lin were there, he would have heard her say a name: “Ma Yunrou.”

Clearly written on the page:

“April 6, 2009. Today I met a girl. Only one phrase can describe her: unrivaled among her peers, a beauty beyond compare. Liu Juan says her name is Ma Yunrou.”

A vision of a charming girl appeared in Wang Yuqing’s mind. She had a hunch that Xiao Lin’s drastic change in personality must be connected to this girl. Back at Donghai High School, Wang Yuqing had heard of her—a beautiful, lively girl, widely social. But Wang Yuqing herself was not acquainted with her. She had been something of a professional homebody in those days, sticking to home, dorm, canteen, and classroom, rarely venturing elsewhere. Apart from her own classmates, she had known almost no one. Her meeting with Xiao Lin had been pure chance.

Suppressing her curiosity, Wang Yuqing read on.

Every page that followed seemed to be about Ma Yunrou.

“April 15, 2009. Spoke to her for the first time. She’s so articulate. I really enjoyed talking with her…”

“April 25, 2009. Helped her organize an event. She’s so capable—much better than me…”

“May 2009…”

As Wang Yuqing continued to flip through the pages, suddenly a line jumped out at her.

“January 1, 2010. We made it official…”

New Year’s Day. Wang Yuqing felt emptiness sweep through her heart. For some reason, her nose stung with unshed tears. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend.

She turned page after page; they were all filled with sweet memories of Xiao Lin and Ma Yunrou. The more she read, the more her heart ached. Tears welled up in her eyes, as if the thing she cherished most had been snatched away.

Clutching the notebook, she felt the weight of it as if her hands were filled with lead. Dazed, she let it slip, and it hit the floor with a crisp “snap.” The sound startled her, and she quickly knelt to pick it up. As she did, she noticed the last page had flipped open. On it was written: “Beijing, Beijing, she’s not here. There’s no trace of her at this school. Rou’er, where have you gone?”

Wang Yuqing was puzzled. Ma Yunrou had disappeared? Xiao Lin was looking for her? Did they break up? Her eyes lit up, and she immediately flipped from the last page backward.

“She’s not here!” “Still not here.” “She’s gone…”

The latter pages were filled with such frantic, scrawled lines, barely legible, betraying the writer’s inner turmoil.

Hurriedly, Wang Yuqing flipped back, searching for answers, only to find that everything from 2013 onward had been torn out. Staring at the torn remains, she felt sure of one thing: they had broken up, and Xiao Lin’s change had everything to do with Ma Yunrou. What she felt in her heart now, she could hardly say. Slowly, she stood up and put the diary back where she found it. She returned to her desk.

A long while passed. Wang Yuqing let out a gentle sigh, her eyes shining with determination.

“Xiao Lin, I want you to see that there are excellent girls in this world besides Ma Yunrou.”

Xiao Lin pushed open the study door quietly, seeing Wang Yuqing at the desk, chin propped on her hand, lost in thought. He walked over and, clutching his stomach, said deliberately, “Oh, I think I ate something bad. I’ve been in the bathroom forever.” He even managed a pained expression.

Seeing him put on a show, Wang Yuqing felt no anger at all. She gazed at his cheeks with tenderness, imagining what he must have looked like in his pain.

“Xiao Lin, we’re friends, aren’t we?” she asked seriously.

“Huh?” Xiao Lin was surprised that she didn’t scold him for being late. He had only known her for a week, but in his heart, he already considered her a good friend.

“Of course we are!” Although puzzled by her question, Xiao Lin answered truthfully.

“That’s good. Then remember what your friend says. Do you know the best way to forget pain?”

Xiao Lin was confused: “Why are you saying this?”

“Xiao Lin, let me tell you—the best way to forget pain is time. Believe me, time really does heal all wounds.”

He looked at her earnest face and replied helplessly, “Got it. Thank you.”

Seeing he’d taken her words to heart, Wang Yuqing smiled sweetly. “Alright, let’s get back to studying.”

“Uh…” Xiao Lin’s face twisted in misery.

“What’s wrong? You’re not willing?” Wang Yuqing’s face turned stern.

“Ah, I just remembered—you still owe me an answer.” Suddenly he recalled something.

Wang Yuqing was momentarily stunned, then brushed her bangs aside and said nonchalantly, “Ask away.” Inwardly, she thought, Hmph, let’s see what you can come up with.

“My question’s simple. Did I know you before? Which class were you in at Donghai High?”

She shot back, “Do you still have your junior high graduation photo?”

“Of course! Right, how could I forget? There’s a graduation photo. Wait, I’ll go get it.” Xiao Lin dashed out of the study.

The Donghai High graduation album was a large booklet, with class photos for every homeroom.

Before long, Xiao Lin came back, album in hand. “Yuqing, were you really at Donghai? I couldn’t find you!”

“Check class six. The girl in the second row, center, with glasses—that’s me,” she said blandly.

He quickly turned to the class six photo, searched as she described, and found the name: Wang Yuqing. But no one would ever believe that girl was her.

In the photo, the girl wore oversized glasses—so big they covered half her face—had a bowl haircut, and was in a school uniform, looking utterly plain. But the Wang Yuqing before him now had long hair draped over her shoulders, bright lips, clear eyes, and an elegant, refined air.

Xiao Lin stared in disbelief. “That’s really you?” he asked, pointing at the girl in the photo.

“It really is. I just changed my hairstyle and wear contacts now.”

“Ever heard the saying, ‘A girl changes eighteen times as she grows up’?” Wang Yuqing pouted, feigning disdain.

Xiao Lin was utterly defeated. “That’s some transformation!”