Volume One, Chapter 62: The Little Green Serpent

Luo Yiyi’s eyes glinted with a chilling murderous intent as she stared at her phone, her voice venomous. “You want to destroy me?”

Because the phone’s camera was pointed at the ceiling, the livestream audience could only see a haze of smoke swirling under a greenish light.

Qin Yu’s voice was even colder. “If you hadn’t dodged so quickly, you wouldn’t even have the right to speak with me right now.”

This creature was more agile than she’d expected.

“I can see you’re young, yet you’ve cultivated such power—it’s no small feat. Take my advice: don’t meddle in others’ business. This is an old grudge between her family and mine.”

Qin Yu pressed her lips, letting out a soft laugh. It had always been her offering warnings to ghosts—never before had a ghost tried to warn her. The feeling was somewhat odd, like a failing student trying to teach an honors student how to solve a problem.

“Are you aware that the things you induced her to say in her dreams amount to incitement to commit a crime in the real world? That’s punishable by prison.”

“Thank you, the host is giving us a legal education.”
“For a moment, I thought I’d wandered into the wrong livestream.”
“Honestly, I’m dying laughing. The metaphysical host is a legal expert!”
“I adore this woman (twisting and crawling in the shadows, trying to kiss my wife’s face, only to be heartlessly pushed away).”
“Thank you, I can picture it perfectly.”

Luo Yiyi sneered disdainfully. “I am a ghost, and your human laws don’t bind me.”

Qin Yu clicked her tongue, blurting out, “What a strange creature you are. You want to be human, yet refuse to obey the order of the living.”

Suddenly, her tone sharpened. “How could the world allow such a thing?”

Luo Yiyi’s petty calculations were laid bare, and she was instantly both ashamed and furious. “Since you insist on refusing a toast and demand a penalty instead, don’t blame me for not warning you!”

Tap, tap, tap—

A strange sound echoed in the green-lit livestream.

When Luo Yiyi reappeared on screen, she was clinging to the ceiling with all four limbs. Her head hung upside down at an unnatural angle, her long black hair drifting like willow branches, mingling with curling wisps of smoke.

“Ahhh! A ghost!”
“How can you send voice messages?”
“This is a metaphysical livestream—seeing ghosts is normal! Why are you screaming? You must be from out of town.”
“I’m a local and still pretty scared.”
“Did anyone else notice the ghost called herself ‘Miss’? So, does that mean…”
“What? Is the lily blooming in my hometown?”
“Why does the atmosphere suddenly feel so sapphic?”
“But didn’t Luo Yiyi say she was male in the dream?”
“She turned into a man just to be with her? I’m kind of into this ship.”

“Shipping is all well and good, but you can’t ship across the mortal and the netherworld.”
“Shipping everything will only lead you astray.”
“Am I the only one wondering what brand of shampoo Luo Yiyi uses? How is her hair so smooth? I need a recommendation!”
“What???”
“Every generation produces its talents, but only this host’s livestream draws them all.”

A sly glint flickered at the corner of Qin Yu’s eyes. She’d been waiting for Luo Yiyi to show herself.

Without warning, a talisman with red characters on a yellow background appeared.

In an instant, golden light shot out like tentacles.

Luo Yiyi sensed something was wrong and tried to escape, but it was too late.

She immediately understood: Qin Yu had provoked her into revealing herself on the livestream. As long as she stayed hidden, the talisman couldn’t touch her.

But now, the golden light became invisible shackles pinning Luo Yiyi mercilessly to the ceiling. She struggled in agony, her body wreathed in blue smoke from the searing pure spiritual energy.

Her tormented cries pierced the eardrums, making everyone uncomfortable.

Luo Yiyi screamed hysterically, “You humans only use such despicable tricks! You disgust me!”

Qin Yu watched with delight. Not only had her spiritual power returned, but even the merit she’d lost protecting Yongzi was restored.

But then something occurred to her, and her expression darkened.

Did this mean her secret aid to the ghosts was also exposed?

Thinking of the man in black robes, Qin Yu’s face soured. The feeling of having her weakness in someone else’s grasp was truly infuriating!

Her thoughts raced, but as her gaze fell again on Luo Yiyi, she regained her usual cool composure. “If you hate humans so much, why do you long to become one?”

The question silenced Luo Yiyi.

Qin Yu pressed further, exposing her. “Because humans possess thought—and the power to turn those thoughts into reality. You yearn for that creativity, and that’s why you wish to be human.”

Luo Yiyi continued to struggle. Her green pupils flickered, but she neither answered nor denied it.

Qin Yu saw through her and said, “Since you call this a feud, why not tell your story here and let everyone in the livestream judge for themselves? If you have reason on your side, I’ll help you. How about that?”

The struggling Luo Yiyi cursed her out. “If you want to kill or torture me, do it quickly. Why play these tedious games? Who’s this performance for?”

Qin Yu drew a sharp breath.

She’d only been willing to help because she’d seen that Luo Yiyi hadn’t taken any lives. Why was she now being scolded for her kindness?

“Ghost lady, you’re being ridiculous! My wife isn’t this gentle with just anyone!”
“That’s right! Master Dianqiu is always fair in her grudges. Don’t be so stubborn—just confess already!”
“Seeing the host get shut down is oddly amusing.”

“Hahaha, poor master.”
“Even if this is all a performance, you still have a sliver of hope, don’t you? If you say nothing, there’s only one road left—for you to die. You need to choose.”

Qin Yu massaged her forehead. These days, giving psychological counseling to ghosts was no easy task.

“Hmph!”

Luo Yiyi lifted her chin proudly, her expression screaming, “I’ll never tell you.”

Qin Yu wished she could be there in person; if she were, she’d have pinned this ghost down herself to knock some sense into her.

“Fine, if that’s the case, then I’ll—”

“Master, wait! Please wait!”

Before Qin Yu could finish, a frail, elderly voice called out.

A pale wisp floated to Luo Yiyi’s side.

Qin Yu recognized her—it was the elderly woman who’d been lingering on the vase.

“Granny, why are you out here? Go hide! This one is cunning and treacherous—you mustn’t let her catch you!”

The so-called cunning and treacherous one glanced at her own face in the livestream.

Was she talking about me?

Granny wore a worried look and pleaded, “Master, Xiao Qing is straightforward to a fault, so stubborn. Please don’t take it to heart!”

Qin Yu thought of Xiao Qing’s true form.

She really was all straight lines, inside and out.

“Xiao Qing is a pitiful snake, truly not evil.”

“A literal straight line—physically, too.”
“Xiao Qing reminds me of the Green Snake from the Legend of the White Snake.”
“I heard that when snakes take human form, they choose their gender based on their beloved’s gender—is that true?”
“I think I’ve heard that too.”
“So the couple I’m shipping might actually become real?”
“Oh no, the previous commenter's mind has been taken over by shippers.”